


Monsters

by Phasirous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adorable Fluff, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armin is a little loner, Armin is adorable, But Eren is first, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Character's Name Spelled as Jaeger, Depression, Don't worry all will be fixed, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'M LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW, Jean will have a good image in this, Levi is a teacher, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oh My God, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protectiveness, Sadness, Sassy Armin Arlert, Shingeki no Feels, Tags Are Hard, Things get better!, all the feels, but then Eren comes around, don't hate me when the feels come along, for hanji at least, i think, it will be very fluffy, let's go with that :>, might trigger, that's a tag, well somewhat depression, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-12 12:32:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5666176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phasirous/pseuds/Phasirous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin can't trust anyone anymore. Not after his past and after a night that consisted of being betrayed by someone he loved so dearly. He can't imagine anyone caring about him after all the walls he puts up but along came Eren. A young photographer that just wants his big break to happen any day now so he can prove his father that he can amount to something. He sees Armin, the musician that loves to swim, who tries to push him away but only brings him in closer.</p><p>What happens when pasts come back to haunt them and people that were long forgotten resurface. Armin and Eren's monsters just won't leave them alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So I will make a Levi/Eren fanfic but I just love Armin/Eren. So cute and innocent. \OnO/ Anyways! This MIGHT have a TRIGGER WARNING so be careful and just know that boy's do get raped and it does happen in the world. For those that are going through something like this just know that you aren't alone and you have people who care about you.  
> Remember to have a wonderful morning, afternoon, evening or night!  
> ~Phasirous out ^3^
> 
> Music Inspiration:  
> Monster (DotEXE Remix) ~ Nightcore  
> INSaNity ~ CircusP  
> Me, Myself and I ~ G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha  
> Gasoline ~ Halsey  
> Right Hand ~ Drake  
> Mad Hatter ~ Melanie Martinez  
> Skinny Love ~ Birdy

* * *

 

_ Armin walked through the doors of the bar and smiled when he saw him. “Jean! I missed you so much!” He ran into the taller man’s embrace and nuzzled deeper into his chest. “I’m so glad you feel the same way.” He looked up and saw a smile that almost looked forced. Pulling back slightly he looked up and cocked his head to the side “What’s wrong Jean?” he said with such innocence that Jean almost felt bad. Almost.  _

 

_ He shook his head and replied through slightly clenched teeth “Nothing. I’m just so happy”. Armin smiled largely and stepped back “So you said you wanted to talk so let’s” he said with twinkling blue eyes as he stepped over to an empty table. The bar was owned by some of Jean’s friends and they left it open for them despite the late hours.  _

 

_ Jean sat opposite of Armin and fidgeted in his seat as if he were uncomfortable. “Are you sure you’re alright?”. Jean nodded frantically but Armins worries weren’t eased. “Okay…so what’s up?” He said trying to push down his nerves. He had a feeling that something was wrong but his happier thoughts overwhelmed his sense of panic.  _

 

_ Jean cleared his throat and simply said, while avoiding Armins gentle gaze “Do you mind telling me about your past?”. Armin was not at all shocked and didn’t miss a beat when saying “Of course!” he tapped his chin thoughtfully and closed his eyes “Where to start…” he muttered. He opened his eyes and Jean saw them glaze over with pain when he began speaking. _

 

_ “My mom is, well, was a nurse. She loved people very much and cared about people's feelings.. My father on the other hand was very abusive and he was the polar opposite of my mom. At least around me he was. In front of her he was an angel. He could do no wrong in my mom's eyes. I knew what he was capable of but never expected him to actually act on it. Everything was somewhat normal until I was about 12. Up until then he just used to...” he coughed and let out a shaky sigh but nonetheless, he continued “he used to beat me and be very harsh with his words. My mom never knew a thing because he threatened me and told me that if I ever told anyone about this that he’d beat me and do horrible things to me so I had no choice but to comply.” Armins face was washed over with pain and regret “But anyways when I was 12 he started to notice changes...changes in my body and face. I always had longer hair than most boys and got picked on but my dad” he chuckled darkly “ he was  _ so  _ mad that I wouldn’t cut it. But since my mom loved my long hair he went along with it, at least that was when she was around. When it would just be us, which I avoided by the way, he would” Armin faltered but a sense of determination flashed behind those oceanic eyes of his and powered through “he would rape me. I didn’t tell anyone because I knew that no one would believe me but it still hurt.” Armin wiped a tear that broke the confines of his eyes. Armin looked up and smile sadly “I ran away after the fifth time. I never looked back and went to my grandfather’s house.” Armin sighed and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. He wiped his eyes and took in a loose breath. “But now I’m here and I’m safe!” He smiled fondly “with you”.  _

 

_ Jean felt the guilt pang in his chest and regret spread throughout his body. He whispered softly “I’m so sorry…”. Armin perked his head up “Hey, hey, hey! Don’t feel bad it’s not your fau-”. Jean kept muttering things like ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Please don’t hate me’ even as people sprung up from behind the bar and tables.  _

 

_ Armins eyes widened “J-Jean what’s going on?”. Jean shook his head and apologized over and over. “Jean! What?”. Jean slammed his hands on the table and sobbed out apologies.  _

 

_ People were pointing and laughing at him. He could make out words such as ‘Him? Raped? Yeah right? Boys can’t be raped!’. He couldn’t hear much else as he spun around and took off into the dark night. _

 

* * *

 

 

Armin groaned in discomfort as he woke up from his dream and rubbed sleep from his eyes. That happened nearly 2 years ago and he was still having nightmares about it. The smug look on their faces as they heard Armin practically spill his guts out about his pain and past was almost criminal. That hurt but what really kicked him when he was down was the fact that they used the guy that Armin was so hopelessly smitten for to get material to use against the small boy. He was already picked on but after that it almost became unbearable. The junior and senior years in High School sucked. So he was more than happy to wake up to his college dorm. He was a freshman at Trost University. It was only his first day but he was so glad to be rid of those terrible people. 

 

He pushed up from his bed and began to get ready for his first day in school. 

  
  



	2. Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin meets Eren. Armin gets reminded of his father's cold words and his scars aren't forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Mention of SELF-HARM is in this chapter! BEWARE OF THE FEELS AND DO NOT KILL ME.  
> Thank you for all the kudos and hits OvO It makes me very happy. Please enjoy and know that if you are in a similar situation that you are not alone and there are those that care about you!  
> Remember to have a good morning, afternoon, evening or night!  
> ~Phasirous out OuO
> 
> Music Inspiration:  
> Stitches ~ Shawn Mendes  
> Skinny Love ~ Birdy  
> Pity Party ~ Melanie Martinez  
> Sippy Cup ~ Melanie Martinez  
> Trouble is a Friend ~ Lenka  
> Tag, you're it ~ Melanie Martinez

Armin looked around his dorm and saw his roommate, Marco, walk through the bathroom door with slightly damp hair and a pair of dark blue denim jeans with a gray v-neck on. He also wore black and white converses and a necklace with a cross on it. Armin just looked away and muttered a small “Good morning”. 

 

Marco, being his usual self, greeted him with a happy and gentle “Good morning”. Marco wasn’t a bad guy but Armin prefers to stay to himself in the hopes of being invisible so he can get through these years without any problems. So Armin walked past him to get to the bathroom and shut the door quietly. He removed his shirt and hissed when the fabric brushed against his small wrists. He looked away from the small cuts that ran up and down his arms while he proceeded to step into the shower. He sighed in contentment and scrubbed his torso. While washing he thought about his school schedule for the year. 

 

‘Chemistry’ he counted off his fingers. ‘French’ he hummed happily ‘Music’. He smiled largely at the familiar name and continued ‘Band’. His skin tingled with excitement as he thought about all the instruments he would be able to play. ‘English’ and ‘Math’. Last but not least ‘Gym’ his shoulders slumped forward and he began to finish washing his hair.  

 

He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stared at the mirror with disgust at the sight in front of him. Hair damp and pulled back, scars on his hips and legs, and girlish eyes. He snatched his toothbrush and hurried to finish getting ready. He chose morning classes so he could avoid the rowdy kids that would make or break his college years. 

 

He opened his closet and mentally patted himself on the back for organizing it so well. He looked around and grabbed a black sweater that covered his arms and went a little bit above mid-thigh. He grabbed some denim jeans and combat boots. As for his hair, he threw on a crimson beanie because he just could not be bothered by his mane right now. 

 

A few minutes later and he was out the door. 

 

The cool autumn air nipped at his face making him more flushed than he should have been. He tugged his sweater down farther to cover his hands a little bit more. ‘Should have brought gloves’ he made a mental note to buy some gloves for the upcoming winter. His walk wasn’t long and far. His chemistry class was a few blocks away from his dorm and french wasn’t much farther either.

 

He kept his head down and pushed his nervousness down so he could think properly. Many questions buzzed around in his head ‘what if the teacher calls me out?’ and ‘what happens if someone wants to talk to him?’. He wanted to trust people, he really did, but after that night it became very hard. 

 

He pulled open the door and began looking for his class when he saw someone looking at him. 

 

Teal eyes raked over his body and came to a stop on his face. His face flushed with embarrassment and he tugged his beanie down more, pulling his sweater down more also, and spotted his chemistry class. He managed to maneuver his way through the crowd without drawing too much attention but those teal eyes never seemed to leave him. He risked a glance at the guy and when he did he saw a smirk play on his lips. 

 

Armin greeted the teacher that was by the door and winced when a squeal was directed towards him. “YOU’RE SO CUTE! WHERE IS LEVI?! THIS KID IS ADORABLE!!” Armins head snapped up and he felt his face heat up. “OH PLEASE SIT DOWN IN FRONT!!! I’m professor Hanji but my pronouns are them and they so please do treat that with care” They turned serious for a moment. Armin nodded and sped over to where the front was and took a seat to the far left next to the window. 

 

Armin doodled in his notebook while the rest of the class filed in. Once everyone sat down the teacher spoke “Okay! So I’m Professor Hanji and my pronouns are them and they!” They clapped their hands together and went over the schedule for the year. Armin took the necessary notes, successfully filling up a page or two when someone poked him on his shoulder. He turned around with confusion written over his face. But he instantly paled when he saw those same teal eyes staring at him with such intensity that Armin felt himself shrink in his chair.

 

He choked out “Y-Yes?” and flinched when he heard the fear in his voice. The boy chuckled lightly and stuck his hand out when he saw Armin try and turn around. 

 

“Name’s Eren. Eren Jaeger.” The boy smiled broadly when he saw Armin's eyes widen. “O-Oh! Hi, I’m Armin. Armin Arlert. Nice to meet you.” Armin shook his hand once and turned around to continue taking notes.  

 

He scribbled down notes and tried to ignore the poking at his shoulder. At one point the person next to him had to shush him. He’d have to thank her later. Annie he decided to remember. She might be nice. She was silent, reserved, so that wouldn’t be too bad...would it? Armin shook his head and continued writing. 

 

The bell rang and Armin sprung up and all but ran to the door to avoid those teal eyes. He was stopped by the teacher when they put a paper on top of his books. 

 

“Homework for tonight is to tell me about yourselves. Pretty simple! Have a wonderful day you cuties!” They exclaimed. Armin didn’t hesitate to run out the door. 

 

‘Can’t be late. Can’t be late’ he chanted. He was out of breath so he made another mental note to exercise more. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. The only exercise he’d be getting was running to the bookstore to get more music books. He stopped mid-run when he saw a poster for the swimming club. Swimming was so peaceful. Although intense, he could forget anything when he was under water. It was the only place where his thoughts didn’t drown him, but the water did. He didn’t mind that a lot but what he did mind was the hand that was on his shoulder. 

 

“A-Armin. You’re a fast one!” Eren's voice startled Armin to the point where he visibly jumped. Eren noticed and apologized “Sorry! Oh I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just wondering what your next class was?” He cocked his head to the side and Armin realized how much of a dog Eren seemed like. “French” he whispered, looking anywhere but those pools of emotion. 

 

Eren’s grin nearly split his face and he bounced up and down. “Really?! That’s great! We can sit next to each other.” Armin’s face dropped and he turned on his heel and took off as fast as his feet could take him.

 

Eren, however, was right on him and said “Yeah, we don’t want to be late!”. Armin just kept running in hopes of losing him but of course he never did. 

 

Armin wanted a friend and that terrified him. He was making the same mistake. ‘For a smart one, you never learn’ his father's words echoed in his mind and he felt the strong sting of the scars he forgot he had. 

  
He never learned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please comment and leave kudos if you wish :D  
> Thanks for reading~ <3


	3. Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Eren bond. Armin thinks he can trust again...AND THE PLOT THICKENS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and know that Right Hand is not made by me but made by Drake. Thank you for the Kudos and I hope you enjoy. The plot is mine. Attack on Titan is not.  
> And remember to have a good morning, afternoon, evening, and night!  
> ~Phasirous out! 
> 
> Music Inspiration:  
> Right Hand ~ Drake  
> Zero ~ Chris Brown   
> Collar Full ~ Panic! At the Disco  
> Four Pink Walls ~ Alessia Cara  
> I'm yours ~ Alessia Cara (This song is so perfect for this fic btw <3)  
> Cheerleader ~ Cover by Pentatonix (and original by OMI)  
> W.D.Y.W.F.M ~ The Neighbourhood

Armin stopped for breath at the water fountain. Eren could run, he’d give him that. Still Armin only stopped when his feet would feel as if they’d fall out and then he’d run some more. French class was farther than he’d expected and when he went to orientation to meet the French teacher, Mr. Ackerman, he made sure to exercise the point of being on time or don’t come at all. 

 

Armin was pretty terrified. 

 

He slowed down to a stroll so he could check the time. 9:35. He sighed in relief. His class wasn’t until 10 so he could stop and maybe listen to music. But he’d forgotten that Eren was there with him… And he was talking. 

 

“Armin? Hello…? Earth to Armin!” Eren was waving his hands back and forth in the air to try and get the smaller male's attention.

 

“Yes?” Armin asked, keeping his eye on his black combat boots. 

 

“I was asking what your major was!” Eren questioned. When Armin looked up he finally took in Eren and all of his hyper energy. He had shaggy brown hair and two small peircings beneath his eyebrow. He was wearing a black v-neck and grey jeans. He wore a navy jacket and, of course, those deep teal eyes that seemed to be peering into Armin’s very soul. 

 

“Professional Music. I’m minoring in Music technology.” Armin was trying so hard not to ask Eren any questions because the boy seemed as if he was going to rant on about any and everything. 

 

But of course he replaces his brain with his heart.

 

“What about you?” Armin wanted to face plant into the concrete, which he almost did while running. 

 

“Photography! I think I’m going to minor in like painting or something like that.” Eren was so happy and Armin wanted to smile at that but instead he just walked past him and checked the time. 9:42. How long had he zoned out?!

He took off again and left Eren to figure out where he went. He was found soon enough but Armin kept running until he stopped in front of the French classroom. 

 

He opened the door and stepped in, happy to be in a quiet place even if it was just for a few seconds. 

 

Eren came barreling in, slightly out of breath, and took his place next to Armin. Mr. Ackerman had instructed them to line up in front of the classroom and wait until the others came in. 

 

Armin ignored Eren’s poor attempts to try and talk to him. He wanted to crack a smile when he heard the teacher scold Eren for talking so much. 

 

‘He’s a good kid Armin’ one voice spoke up. Armin wanted to believe that until another voice said ‘He’ll just be like Jean and everyone else. You don’t want to take that chance again, do you?’. Armin wanted to abandon all logic and be best buds with this teal eyed mystery but he knew he should, at the very least, be careful. 

 

Almost everyone showed up on time and the others that didn’t got a threat and that was more like a promise coming from Mr.Ackerman. He went over this years schedule and asked if anyone had any experience with the French language. Armin made sure just to write down notes and not look around the room or else another Eren might pop up and decide to be friends with him again. When he discussed assigned seats he said that they could sit wherever they wanted to today but tomorrow would be different. 

 

“Enjoy the free time, brats” were his exact words. “Once we start you’ll be having 1 worksheet each night and 2 passages to read from your textbook, page 261. No complaints or exceptions. You will have that night and that night only to finish it. If you have any problems with that, we can talk after class.” Mr. Levi, as he preferred to be called, nodded once and concluded with “Meet everyone because you won’t be working with friends in my class.” He clapped his hands together “Go nuts”.

 

Everyone moved and instantly became friends with one another. Armin just stayed in his seat and continued on notes when the teacher tapped his notebook to get his attention. 

 

“Oi! You aren’t going to, I don’t know, mingle like the rest of these kids?” Mr. Levi asked with impatience showing across his face. Armin shook his head back and forth and sighed “I prefer to work alone, if that’s alright sir?” Armin looked up and made another note of how short, yet intimidating, his teacher was. Levi nodded his head in approval “That’s fine. Nice to know that I’ll be having  _ some _ good kids in this class.” He walked off and left Armin to become a little pink at the realization of being complemented by probably the scariest man he has ever met. Armin continued to jot down any notes that might be necessary. He even doodled around the neat notes to make them seem a bit more relaxed and not totally uptight. 

 

He began thinking of ways to make money and instantly perked up at remembering that he had a gig at a bar on Friday. 

 

He played instruments and all that but he loved to sing and write songs. He did covers because he was really insecure of his songs but his voice was the only that he seemed to be really confident in. He began working on creating a playlist for what he’d play. 

 

Since he just started school he thought of some cool rather upbeat songs.

* * *

 

The class was half way through and Armin already had the 5 songs he was allowed to play,

 

He decided on Zero by Chris Brown, Cheerleader by OMI, Collar Full by Panic! At the Disco, W.D.Y.W.F.M. by The Neighbourhood, and lastly, his personal favorite, Right Hand by Drake. He would always put a twist on his covers so it was different. With Zero and Right Hand he’d sing it rather than rap. 

 

He knew that if he rocked this he could possibly get a permanent job at the bar and that would open up so many opportunities. He decided that he'd start working on the covers tonight, making sure to perfect them.

 

Armin also knew that he needed a second opinion when it came to his songs so he reluctantly stood up and walked over to where Eren was. He was currently chatting with a bald guy and a brunette. He caught the names Connie and Sasha from when Eren would speak. He was very animated and spoke unnecessarily loud. He was about to turn around and go back to his desk and re think all of his life decisions when he was spotted. 

 

Eren shot up out of his chair and introduced him formally to the ‘Devilish Duo’. Armin just stayed quiet and allowed them to talk when he nudged Eren in his ribs. He lowered his head slightly and whispered “I need your help with something”. 

 

Ten minutes later and the bell finally rung. French was their last class of the day so Armin invited Eren over to his dorm so he could listen and maybe even get to know the guy a little better. But Armin wasn’t going to make it easy for him. Oh no. Eren would have to go through hell and back if he wanted his trust. 

 

Armin unlocked the door and ran to collapse on his bed. He groaned and shut his eyes. 

 

“There’s water and food in the mini fridge to your right. Help yourself.” Armin mumbled into the blanket but loud enough to where Eren could hear. 

 

“Thanks”. Armin just nodded in response. A minute of silence later and Armin pushed up to get the lyrics for his songs.

 

“I’m doing these 5 songs at this bar called Sina on Friday. I wanted you listen so you could help me with pitching and stuff” Armin shrugged and threw the lyrics on the floor next to Eren who sat on the ground in front of Armin’s desk. 

 

“Good choices” Eren muttered as he flipped through the pages. He paused “What type of music do you like exactly?” He said, not looking up from the papers. Armin shrugged and sat in front of Eren. “Everything.”

 

He took the papers and jumped right in. He didn’t want to waste any time so he started with the one that he knew would be most difficult. 

 

He took a breath and started singing instead of rhythmic speaking like Drake did. 

 

_ You’re my right hand, you’re my go-to. _

 

_ Told me everything about you, that’s a bold move. _

 

_ I know that you're out here _

 

_ And there's things you gotta go through _

 

_ Just know that these streets just don't love you like I do _

 

_ And they never will _

 

_ But I swear you gotta chill _

 

_ You wanna grip a Benz wheel _

 

_ And I know you can't wait _

 

_ You dream big and sleep late _

 

_ You got a lot on your plate _

 

_ That's why you're always working out _

 

_ Taking pictures of yourself _

 

_ You don't see anybody else _

 

_ You're like oh well _

 

_ You're like fuck it oh well _

 

_ My past behind me like a pony tail _

 

Armin stopped. “Good so far?”. Eren’s face was red and his eyes were wide. Armin smiled, he knew what that reaction was. “I’m going to pair this with my guitar and that’s gonna be the twist on it. So that it’ll be cool and upbeat yet soft and tender.” Armin continued into the chorus once Eren nodded for him to go on.

_ But you're my right hand, you're my go to _

 

_ Told me everything about you _

 

_ That's a bold move _

 

_ I know that you're out here _

 

_ And there's things you gotta go through _

 

_ Just know that these streets just don't love you like I do _

 

_ And they never will. _

 

Armin thought, while he continued singing, that he’s probably made the biggest mistake in his life but he couldn’t bring himself to care any more. 

 

* * *

Once he finished singing all of the songs, Eren proposed that they order pizza and have a Star Wars marathon. Eren had made little comments that helped Armin and he was glad that Eren came with him. They even joked around and Armin learned that the piercings were just for show and that they were fake to which Eren also said “Tell anyone and I shall kill you” in a horrible Darth Vader voice. Armin hadn’t laughed like that in a long time and he had missed the feeling. He let his walls down, one by one and this time Armin wasn’t scared that he was too vulnerable.

 

A knock came from the door and Eren did a small happy dance. “Pizza! I’ll get it.” Eren threw open the door, money in hand but deflated when he saw that it wasn’t the pizza guy. 

 

“Ugh. What do _you_ want, Horseface.” Eren rolled his eyes. Armin laughed and called over to Eren from his desk “Who?” he said in between a fit of giggles.

 

The person growled. Low and deep and Armin froze. He knew that growl. He once loved that growl. Armin’s eyes narrowed as he made his way to the door. He stopped and his eyes narrowed even more into slits as his fear was confirmed.  

 

“Jean…” 

  
One look at that face and all of his walls built back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave Kudos (you don't have to but it would be greatly appreciated!) and comments! The part where Armin sings is inspired by two covers: Hotline Bling by Amy Vachal ~  
>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abQybw0lfjc   
> Right Hand by William Singe ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikZSsgBiOCg   
> I was just inspired by their voices <3
> 
> \\( I///v///I )/


	4. Pills 'N Potions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. MAJOR WARNING. Not only mentions of self harm but actual self harm. Other than that, DRAMA. Armin's walls will be a lot harder to break now...how will Eren do it?! Lot's of feels too. I will update on the weekends by the way. It's much easier for my time frame and such. Sorry it's so short. The next one will be much longer! I promise! Enjoy :>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not much to say besides the updates will probably be on Saturday's and Friday's. So! Enjoy this sort of crappy short chapter. Sorry for the intense feels too o>^
> 
> Music Inspiration:  
> Pills 'N Potions ~ Nicki Minaj  
> All this and Heaven too ~ Florence and the Machine  
> Skinny Love ~ Birdy  
> Monster(DotEXE Remix) ~ Nightcore  
> Pity Party ~Melanie Martinez  
> Sippy Cup ~ Melanie Martinez  
> Tag, you're it ~Melanie Martinez  
> Aloha ~ Mome, Merryn Jeann  
> The Show ~ Lenka

 

His mind shut off completely.

 

All those emotions came back to him and he couldn’t help the dark look that overcame his features.  _ Jean  _ was back. Tall, pale, and manipulating. He changed, Armin noticed, and Armin was actually impressed how much he grew up since he last saw him. But that didn’t change the fact that he was  _ here.  _ Armin thought that’d he’d escaped his past but of course the universe had to twist his fate oh so painfully. 

 

His disbelief and anger was so overwhelming that he felt himself vibrate with an unspoken emotion. He’d lied and used him. He felt his panic level begin to rise and Armin didn’t want this to happen. 

 

His dark thoughts were interrupted by the man who started this conflict in the first place. 

 

“A-Armin?” Jean’s smooth voice stuttered for a moment. “Why ar-you go here?”. Armin gave him an incredulous look. Eren burst out laughing, not sensing the growing tension in the room. “Someone else doesn’t like you, Pony boy!” Eren cackled, doubling over. Jean paid no mind to his crazy antics and looked over Armin's face.

 

“You look” he gulped “good”. 

 

Eren kept laughing so hard that no sound came out of his mouth at all. “Y-y-you’re so stupid” Eren managed to get out through a fit of giggles. 

 

Jean rolled his eyes and focused his attention on Armin who was still silent and his eyes were still narrowed very deeply. 

 

“W-what classes do you have?”. Armin didn’t respond so he continued. 

 

“How h-ha-have you been?”. Armins jaw locked tightly but he still didn’t talk.

 

“Are you alright?” Jean kept asking various questions until he said the one thing that made Armin break. “I missed you.”

 

Armin's eyes blew wide and he laughed loudly but it wasn’t his laugh; it was a cry of pain and astonishment. “You? Missed me?! The” he put up air quotes “gay boy? Didn’t you  _ join  _ them because you didn’t want to lose face?” He was seething. He didn’t miss him, he missed using him. Teasing him. Making fun of him.  _ Hurting  _ him. 

 

Jean stuttered “I didn-”. Armin cut him off “Don’t answer that. Because you did. A rhetorical question remember? Maybe i’m the only one who knows that because I was the gay nerd? Oh!” Armin snapped his fingers in remembrance “your favorite was ‘girl-nerd-stupid-looking faggot’. Which, by the way, makes no sense! You were contradicting yourself.” Armin waved Jean away before he continued.

 

“Don’t talk to me about missing someone Jean.” Armin spat out, venom lacing his once small voice. “I missed you  _ so much _ . You don’t grasp the fact that I loved you. I-” he took a deep shaky breath before rolling up the sleeves of his sweater to show him his many deep scars. “This is from you. The pain you caused me. The pain you still cause me, to this day.” Armin let a single tear go before wiping it away. 

 

“So don’t try and come here to make amends now. It’s much too late for that...go away.” He trailed off at the end.

 

Eren’s laughter had ceased after Armin started talking. His mouth opened and closed, eyes widened with realization and sympathy for Armin. That was before he saw the scars. Eren gasped and covered his mouth. He didn’t know that he was suffering like  _ that.  _

 

Armin’s eyes turned stone cold again and he pushed Jean of the doorway with a little more force than needed. He ignored Jean’s pleas and efforts to try and stop the door from closing. He slammed it shut and slid down the door, weeping out all the pain that bubbled in his chest. 

 

He forgot Eren was there, again. 

 

He felt strong arms wrap around him and his mind flashed with the memory of the warmth that pooled into his chest at being wrapped in a warm embrace. He thought about how happy he was that Jean was hugging him. It was happening again.

 

After the few moments that he allowed himself to melt into Eren’s arms he pushed off and scrambled back. 

 

Eren’s eyes widened and tried to come closer but Armin kept him at arm's length. Eren wanted to hold him and comfort him but stopped when saw that Armin wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at someone else in his spot. His head dropped and he allowed a long sigh to escape.  _ Jean.  _ Armin didn’t see Eren, he saw Jean. 

 

He got off of his knees and walked over to the door. He turned around and grabbed a piece of paper and wrote his number down on it. 

 

“Feel better Armin. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.” With that he left and Armin let out a long and drawled out wail. This continued even as Marco returned home but Armin was on his bed, the top bunk, sobbing and crying out to no one. 

 

His father’s words echoed in his mind. ‘For a smart boy, you never learn’. Those words caused the scars to buzz with a familiar sting and he climbed down the ladder and walked into the bathroom. He didn’t dare look into the mirror, afraid of what he’d see. Reaching into a drawer he moved all the other stuff until he got to the very back. He hadn’t see it in a long time but he felt the nostalgia wash over him. This was the hardest part, actually thinking about it. 

 

The razor was certainly not dull and the light reflected off of it eerily. 

 

He took a deep breath and made two slashes on his forearm. He gasped at the familiar burn of the cut but relished in the fact that the self-depriving voices had vanished. 

 

He made another cut on his wrist. He hissed and sobbed once but, nonetheless, replicated the scars on the other arm. He wiped up the blood and wrapped the scars in a white bandaging. He put everything away and dragged his feet back to the ladder. Armin's footsteps were long yet quiet. He fell back onto the pillows.

 

His father’s words replayed in his mind, albeit much quieter this time, even as he fell into a dreamless sleep. 


	5. Learn to Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MAJOOORRRR TRIGGER WARNING!!!! Contains a lot of self harm so read at your own discretion! Someone else returns to Armin and someone leaves. FLUFF AT THE END. Don't hate me...please. ARMIN AND EREN WILL HAVE THEIR CUTENESS SOON! I PROMISEE! Btw..This chapter is garbage and I don't know if I hate it or like it. Leave me comments about what you think. My confidence has dropped since writing this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're gonna hate me XD. Armin will be fine... I think. WHO KNOOWWSSS >:D. It's a snowy day and I'm sore from running yesterday. It's super cold and perfect for writing. This chapter is garbage. Absolute garbage..............
> 
> ANYWAYS! Remember that you aren't alone. You never are. There will always be someone to care for you. Don't forget that you are perfect in all your own ways. Aspire to be the best you, not someone else. Please have a good morning, afternoon, evening, or night!  
> ~Phasirous out!
> 
> Music Inspiration:  
> Say you'll go ~ Janelle Monae  
> End of the World ~ Skeeter Davis  
> You're the One ~ Tracy Chapman  
> Yellow ~ Coldplay  
> Four Pink Walls ~ Alessia Cara  
> F**ckin Perfect ~ P!nk  
> Me, Myself, and I ~ G-Easy feat. Bebe Rexha  
> Gasoline ~ Halsey  
> Pills 'N Potions ~ Nicki Minaj  
> Don't ~ Bryson Tiller

 

Armin woke up to the buzzing of his phone. He rolled over and groaned lightly when the covers touched his wrists. Oh. He had forgotten that he had done  _ that  _ last night. Sleep didn’t leave so easily, and neither did the incessant buzzing of his phone. He stuck his face in his pillow and spoke into it. “Go away” he whined. He didn’t want class. He felt terrible, and nothing would get rid of that. Well, taking back the past would but science has yet to reach that milestone. 

 

He knew that he had Music and Ba-

 

He had Music,  _ and  _ Band today! The thought of that alone made him jump up. He was glad that his major was different from Eren’s. That’d be really  _ really  _ awkward. He wanted to avoid as many questions as possible.

 

He all but jumped down from the ladder to go to the bathroom. Marco wasn’t awake, and Armin was confused about that. Marco was a very early riser. 

 

_ Oh. _

 

Armin realized that it wasn’t his alarm that was, still, buzzing but it was someone calling him and they wouldn’t stop. He checked the time on his desk, and muttered a line of profanities as he saw that it was  _ 5:27 _ a.m. It was too damn early for this. He only had to be up at 8 but someone made him get up. He dragged himself back up the ladder, and crawled under the covers again. 

He knew that it would be pointless to try to sleep now so he, finally, found his phone. He winced at the overly bright screen, and immediately turned it down. He had 5 missed calls. He angrily checked who all the messages were from, and nearly choked on air. 

 

**3:56**

**Missed call, Mom**

 

**4:21**

**Missed call, Mom**

 

**4:24**

**Missed call, Mom**

 

**5:02**

**Missed call, Mom**

 

He felt his throat go dry when he saw the last message.

  
  


**5:23**

**Missed call, Dad**

 

No. No.  _ No.  _ He didn’t know it was this hard to breathe. No. No.  _ No. Wake up from this dream, Armin. Everything will be okay. You’ll be with Grandpa again, and everything will be as it was. No Jean, no pain, no _ dad.

 

He shut his eyes but as quickly as he did he opened them again. It was ringing. His phone was ringing and the caller was none other than his monstrous father. 

 

He ignored the call, and put his phone, face down, on his stomach which was clad in a baggy shirt. He hadn’t seen them since he ran away.  _ What’d they want now?! _ All of these thoughts continued until he heard his phone ding. 

 

_ Voicemail _

 

He knew that sound, and he dreaded it but nonetheless picked up the once forgotten device and clicked on the voicemail, mentally preparing himself for the worse. But he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for that deep voice to sound over his phone. 

 

_ “Armin.”  _

 

He cringed. He knew that tone, all too well. He was in trouble. After all these years he still got scared of that tone, and nostalgia washed over him for the second time that week. 

 

_ “Your mother, and I have something to tell you. It’s”  _ A small sigh  _ “It’s important. I know that we aren’t on the best of terms”  _ Armin lightly scoffed  _ “but  _ please  _ call us back.” _

 

Armin heard the click which meant that the message was over. 

 

He pushed his phone under his pillow and closed his eyes.  _ Everything’s okay  _ he chanted over, and over again yet he couldn’t help the voice in the back of his head that kept worrying over what they wanted. He had a bad feeling about it. While his thoughts continued he somehow managed to fall back asleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

He awoke, again, to the same buzzing. He jumped slightly, dreading who was calling him. He hesitantly reached for his phone, and sighed in relief when he saw it was just his alarm. Said relief was overwhelming the pain that rung in his arms.

 

He heard footsteps, and concluded it was Marco. He dropped down and walked into the bathroom, trying not to be noticed. He slid past his roommate, and into the bathroom. 

He brushed his teeth and, once again, avoided his reflection. His thoughts were running, and he couldn’t help the sting in his eyes. His father was a deceiving, conniving, poor excuse of a human being. Breathing was a challenge as the voices fought each other in his head again. 

 

_ Should have killed yourself when you had the chance. Now you actually want live. How pathetic. _

 

“Stop…” He whimpered

 

_ That’s not true!  _

 

_ How so?  _

 

_ He shouldn’t kill himself. He needs to be tortured. _

 

“Please” he whispered

 

_ Ah! You’re wrong there. If he gets tortured then people will have to act to care, and he’s already a burden. _

 

_ Also true… _

 

“Why me?” he asked no one in particular

 

_ I say we combine it! Let him be isolated, and torture him but when he breaks we’ll give him some mercy then kill him!  _

 

_ Brilliant! Trick him into thinking he has freedom! _

 

Armins body acted on instinct as he reached for the infamous razor and peeled back the damp bandages on his arms. 

 

Two slashes. The voices became quieter but never left.

 

3 slashes on his girlish hips. The voices dimmed again but the whispers drove him to continue.

 

7 slashes on his legs and he could finally breathe again. 

 

He gulped in the air greedily as he wiped up the blood and winced at the soreness in his scars. He reached into his drawer and pulled out his black bandages. He always used black ones to blend into his outfits. 

 

He finally reached the shower and scrubbed everywhere he could. He wanted the smell of pain to be gone. It never left so he gave up and moved onto his hair. Rhythmic motions calmed his once depressive mood. He began singing a soft tune to increase his relaxation. Without thinking too much about it, he started singing End of the World by Skeeter Davis. 

 

His mom would sing older songs like this when she found him crying in his room. She’d always ask what was wrong but he just shook his head and replied with a small whisper of ‘stress and school’ to which his mom would give him cookies for being such a good little boy. He loved his mom but obviously he wasn’t too pleased with his old man. She was so gentle with her golden locks and beautiful sea-like eyes. His father, on the other hand, had dark brown hair and chocolate eyes. He adored his mother so very much, because she was the idea of a perfect person. She had the looks, the brains, the personality and the heart. How she managed to get with someone like his father was beyond him. 

 

His singing stopped when he heard the door close.  _ Oh crap!  _ Marco had left and that meant he had to go and very soon. He turned the water off and ran out of the shower. He wrapped his fresh wounds in the bandages that he left on the bathroom counter. Armin opened the door and dashed to his closet. He checked the time with his phone.  _ 8:23.  _ His breath calmed. His class was at 9 so he had plenty of time to get dressed and maybe get breakfast. 

 

_ Ha! He thought he was going to eat today! How cute.  _

 

Okay. So maybe no breakfast… Or dinner. 

 

He picked out a white button up and a light brown sweater to throw on top. He wanted to make a good first impression for his favorite classes. He also picked out his crimson beanie, again, to try to tame his hair. His hair was always a problem. But he couldn’t bring himself to cut it. He liked the jaw length on him, it made him feel like he belonged to his mother, as crazy as that may sound. He grabbed black jeans and black boots. He wanted to add something else to his outfit but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. 

 

_ Right.  _

 

He could go for the complete hipster look and get the big glasses. He put on all of his clothing, making sure not to touch the bandages. He put on the glasses only to realize that they were sunglasses. He shrugged. If he didn’t leave now he’d be late. Grabbing a tan cardigan and his book bag he walked out of his dorm and locked his door.  

 

Armin put on his cardigan and swung his book bag on his shoulder. He sighed and walked along, humming a soft tune his mother used to sing to him. Jingle Jangle Jingle by The Merry Macs came to mind.  _ I got spurs that Jingle Jangle Jingle.  _ He smiled broadly as his pace picked up, and before he knew it he was running as fast as he could. He felt the wind through his hair. 

 

* * *

 

He didn’t know how much time had passed or how fast he ran but he knew he was at the Music building. He pulled the door open and relished at the warmth that flooded over his body. Maybe he should have gotten those gloves like he was supposed too. 

 

He checked his time and breathed out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in.  _ 8:40  _ his overly bright screen glared up at him. He nodded once as he shut his phone off. He didn’t want those messages bothering him in class. Especially his favorite class. 

 

Armin walked over to the open Music room door and peered in. He saw the teacher, Ms. Ral, standing beside her desk. The classroom was empty and Armin all but ran to the seat by the window, hoping not to be noticed. Of course the universe hated him. It always hated him. He groaned as he heard his name being called. Turning around slowly he put on a small smile and walked over to the teacher’s desk.  

 

“Yes Ma’am?” Armin forced his words to be sweet and delicate. She looked at him and grinned,

 

“Hello Mr…” she trailed off waiting for him to continue her sentence. “Oh! Arlert ma’am.” He slightly bowed to show respect, but she just waved it off. “Oh please none of the formalities. You can call me Petra. I prefer it. Ma’am makes me feel old.” she giggled lightly. He gulped,

 

“Well, um, may I go back to my seat ma- Petra?” he trailed off slightly. She nodded and gave a small smile when someone walked in. Armin turned his head to see a tall brunette with her arm wrapped around a shorter girl with blond hair. She was laughing and Armin swore he heard the heavens sing. 

 

_ ‘A goddess’  _ he wondered  _ ‘she must be a goddess sent down from heaven. She has graced us with her presence’.  _ He was shaken out of his trance as Petra shooed him along so she could talk to the new people. 

 

Class was very uneventful as she explained what their curriculum would be and how they’d be graded. She passed out syllabuses to ensure they knew the grading in her class. Armin spend most of his time drawing little doodles on his notes and zoning out of reality as he thought back to those calls. 

 

The bell rang and Armin took off towards his class and felt the excitement buzz in his veins.  _ Band. Band. Band!  _ He chanted over and over again until he was in front of the door that was slightly ajar. He pushed it open and surveyed the room, in all of its musical glory. Instruments lined the walls and chairs were left without a desk.  _ Perfect!  _ He mentally squealed as he proceeded into the room. 

 

He had the urge to touch  _ everything _ but refrained from doing so as he sat down near the window, again. The teacher was stacking some papers on her desk when she looked up. 

 

“Hello. I’m Ms.Brzenska. You are too adress me as such.” She went back to stacking her papers in silence. 

 

Armin continued to wander and wander until his brain didn’t come up with anything, that wasn’t dark, besides what he would have for dinner. Even then, he knew he wasn’t going to eat tonight so what was the point. His mind wandered some more until he finally thought about those enchanting teal eyes. 

 

He knew shouldn’t be daydreaming about him but he couldn’t help it. Those eyes,  _ oh my god,  _ and that hair! He looked adorable and so hot. Yeah, he was pretty hot. Armin couldn’t help but admit it. His voice was smooth like honey but Armin loved his personality. So trusting and determined. Armins mind continued to wander into dangerous territory. Those lips were so gorgeous and plump and  _ perfect.  _ Armin stopped there. Nope, not gonna happen. He could already hear the voices getting ready to bring him down from his happy state.

 

Band was an exact replica of Music so Armin just zoned out and thought about any and everything. He dared not think about Jean and what he was doing. He’d have to go to the bathroom and take care of those voices and he didn’t have the razor; it was pretty painful using your fingernail. Armin shuddered slightly at thought.

 

The bell rang once more and Armin took off.  _ Home. Home. Home.  _ He repeated over and over in his mind. His eyelids felt as if they were about to close any minute now and he ran as fast as his legs could take him. 

 

He reached his destination and opened his door faster than you could blink. He collapsed and took a deep breath, loving how his lungs didn’t constrict painfully. He whipped out his phone and turned it on. While it was loading he grabbed a bottle of water and a bag of chips, the voices forgotten in the heat of hunger and exhaustion. His phone pinged and he froze soon afterwards. 

 

_ Voicemail _

 

He gingerly picked up his phone and pressed on the play button. He prepared himself for the voice but wasn’t ready for the sound of his mother’s distressed one. 

 

_ “Armin? Hi baby. We haven’t heard from you and we have news.”  _ A deep breath  _ “I’ll get straight to the point”  _ A choked sob  _ “Your grandfather h-he”  _ Multiple sobs broke loose but Armin caught the words in between the crying. 

 

_ “He’s dead!”  _

 

The line clicked off and Armin stared at his phone in disbelief. 

 

They were playing some trick on him. It was all a lie. His life was perfectly fine. Grandpa was smiling at him right now and asking him what was wrong! He was here. Holding him as he collapsed and cried. 

 

* * *

 

 

Marco never came home that night. Armin didn’t care. He had reached the bathroom and gotten to that razor but he just stared at it as he crawled back to his spot on the floor. He felt all the weight collapse on him. 

 

_ Raped _

 

_ Betrayed _

 

_ Alone _

 

_ Useless _

 

_ Fag _

 

_ Nerd _

 

_ Worthless _

 

Armin couldn’t help it. All those words poured onto him and his wails got louder. He knew no one cared. That was one thing he knew for sure. He was alone and he couldn’t help the sobs that poured out of his mouth. 

 

He was so alone and it hurt  _ so  _ much. 

 

That’s when he remembered the piece of paper Eren had left on the table. The voices got louder as he thought the enticing boys name. He lifted himself off of the floor and made his way to his desk. He grabbed his phone and picked up the fragile paper. 

 

He typed in the number and grabbed the shining razor. He fell back onto the floor and wailed even as a concerned voice rang out from the other end. 

 

_ “Hello?!” _

 

Armin managed to get out a weak reply. “E-Er-E-Eren. I-its me. A-Arm-” His sobs interrupted him. 

 

_ “Armin?! Are you alright? Nevermind, I’m coming so hold tight!”  _ He could hear shuffling in the background. Armin winced as he heard the click of the call, signaling that it had ended. 

_ That’s hilarious! He called the poor guy. He doesn’t know what he’s getting into. This kid is a handful.  _

 

More eerie laughter rang in his ears

 

_ I know right?! Did you see that!? E-e-e-e-e-ren? I-i-i-i-it’s me Armi- Oh my god! That’s priceless! _

 

“Shut up!” His yell was muffled by his sweater. 

 

_ He’ll never love you, you know? You’re a fag and he’s probably straight but here you are you big  _ **_burden._ **

 

_ You’re worthless you know that right? Of course you do! It’s so obvious.  _

 

Armin pulled his forearm out of his sweater and began slashing as hard as he could. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut UP!” He repeated. He moved to his other arm and began to cut as hard as he could. The voices wouldn’t stop. They kept going! It was conquering his mind so much that he didn’t hear the door open but he most certainly felt the razor being ripped out of hands and strong arms embracing him. 

 

Armins mind was fuzzy and he couldn’t see straight. As long as those voices were gone, he was happy. But then the visions of his grandfather returned and the cries started up again. 

 

He was glad his arms were covered in blood. He deserved it. 

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up with his mind in a haze and his arms in a very painful state. He cried out and whimpered at the never ending pain. When did he do that?

 

_ Oh.  _

 

Grandpa was dead. Gone. He wouldn’t see his kind smile ever again. Never. Armin bawled his eyes out and tried to curl up into a ball. Armins eyes flew wide open when he saw those endless teal eyes staring back at him in worry and concern. 

 

He was being a burden.

 

He did it to his Grandfather and that’s probably what killed him. Stress of having a failure for a grandson. Armin backed away and tried to explain.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I don’t want to worry you and I am. You can go home I’m fine! See?” He flashed Eren a fabricated smile. “I’m fine! I’m fine! I’m fine. I’m fine.” Armin repeated but he didn’t know who he was trying to convince, Eren or himself.

 

Eren pulled Armin to his chest and held him tightly. 

 

"Sh. Sh. Shh. I'm here Armin. It's okay, everything's okay. You aren't alone. Not anymore..."

 

Armins whimpers seized as he heard those fateful words. He didn't care if he was being tricked, that was future Armins problem. 

 

"Yeah. Everything's going to be okay..." 

 


	6. Me, Myself and You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for the tooth-rotting fluff ;) Beware of all the cavities you'll have after this ;DD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short but I have a lot of homework and I didn't feel good so I couldn't even reach my computer... I was really lazy. I made it, eventually. BUT YEAH! I'll work on chapter 7 and make it super long (I'll try) for you guys! Please continue to enjoy this fluffy and cavity educing chapter. Sleepy Armin is my life. Also! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 34 KUDOS AND LIKE NEARLY 360 HITS NOT TO MENTION 2 BOOKMARKS! WHHHHHHAAAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? YOU GUYS ROCK! I SO HEPPY!!!!!!!!!! ;^; I don't deserve the beautiful comments you give, although I still love them and they make my day so much brighter! Love you guys, so, so, sooooo much and thank you so much for the all the love you guys give me! So without further ado ...  
> Remember to have a good morning, afternoon, evening, or night!  
> ~Phasirous out :D 
> 
> Music Inspiration:  
> La Da Dee ~ Cody Simpson (this song is perfect for this chapter)  
> Rather be ~ Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne  
> Can't Sleep Love ~ Pentatonix

Eren looked down at the bundle warmth in his arms. Armin looked so peaceful while sleeping and it made his heart warm in all the right places. His smile dimmed slightly when he remembered why he was holding him in the first place. Eren's heart clenched when he thought about what happened to Armin.  _ He just can’t catch a break, can he? _ Eren wanted to be there for Armin all the time but unfortunately that can’t happen due to their difference in majors and dorms. First he get’s his heart ripped out by the guy he loved, then his grandfather dies? What the hell, universe?! No one should have to go through that much. Eren can’t imagine a pain like that.  _ Well at least that’s  _ all  _ that happened to him. No parental drama or anything, so that’s good.  _ Eren was glad Armin didn’t have a terrible father like him. 

 

But Eren doesn’t know. 

 

The bundle of warmth shifted slightly and whimpered as if in pain. Eren’s hold tightened as Armin slightly stirred. 

 

“Eren…?” Armin’s small voice came out from under the layers of warmth. 

 

“I’m here Armin. Are you alright? Do you need anything?” Armin shook his head and snuggled closer to Eren. “No, just…” Armin took a deep breath and murmured“ I don’t want you to pity me or think I’m weak. I don’t want you to think like that or else I’ll drag you down too…”. 

 

Eren chuckled and ruffled his golden locks “It’s fine and if anything, I think you’re the strongest person I know, to deal with something of that size must be tiring.” It was Armin’s turn to laugh and Eren enjoyed every second of the warmth that seemed to seep through that sound. 

 

“It isn’t exactly a walk in the park.” Armin peered up at Eren with a toothy grin in place of his pained grimace from last night. 

 

Eren tried to suppress a smile at that statement; he failed miserably but give him credit, Armin was being too adorable to handle. Yup. He said it. Armin was so  _ damn  _ cute and he wasn’t afraid to admit it. However, more important things needed to be addressed. 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need me to switch dorm partners for you? I can be your roommate!” Eren’s family were friends with the chancellor so it wouldn’t be hard to get his dorm switched, although it would be a lot to move, Eren didn't care. Armin shook his head, “You don’t have to unless you wa-” “I want too.” Eren interrupted. Armin simply replied with “You really don’t have to Er-” “But I want too!”,

 

Armin laughed for what seemed like forever. “What’s so funny?” Eren pouted. “Yo-You’re so stubborn.” Eren simply shrugged and buried his face in the smaller male's hair. 

 

They stayed like that for awhile until Armin shot up. “What time is it?!”. Eren tried to pull him back down but sighed in defeat when a glare was thrown towards him. He pulled his phone out from under him and clicked the on button. “3:48. Now lay back down.” Armin breathed out and complied to the brunette’s request. Eren busied himself with Armin’s tangled locks while Armin tried to fall asleep again. Eren’s hands were untangling a knot when Armin’s small voice spoke up again.

 

“Hey Eren?” Eren hummed in response. “Who gave you such stunning eyes?” Eren nearly choked on air.  _ He’s blunt when he’s tired.  _ Eren found it strangely endearing but answered the question, trying to ignore the beating in his chest. “My...dad.” he stiffened when he saw Armin’s eyes glaze over in pain. 

 

He blinked.

 

Armin’s blue eyes were shining with joy in the darkness.  _ Must have been my imagination.  _ “Yeah, my dad and I disagree a lot but I love the guy nonetheless.” Armin smiled broadly and touched Eren’s soft hair to make it messier than it already was. That was harder than Armin had anticipated. “Who gave you such soft hair and such a warm smile?” He laughed nervously but stopped as his eyes widened in realization. 

 

_ Is he flirting with me?! Armin is a little angel and bundle of emotions but I was sure that he didn’t have a single mischievous bone in his body.  _

 

“Hey! You can’t do that! No fair, who gave  _ you  _ such beautiful eyes?” It took everything for Armin not to giggle so instead he feigned hurt and turned his back to Eren who tried to roll him over to hold him again.

 

“Armin.” 

 

No response. 

 

“Armin please…?” 

 

Nothing. 

 

He sighed in defeat as this continued on for about ten minutes. “Fine, my mom did. I’m sorry now roll over and come back to me” he whined. 

 

Still no response. 

 

He groaned and used all of his strength to roll Armin back to him. 

 

The grin that was plastered on Eren’s face nearly split it in two as he wrapped the boy in his arms and fell asleep.

 

When Eren had rolled him over he found that Armin had dozed off, with a big smile on his face.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So lemme know what you thought about this chapter by leaving a comment ( or two, I don't mind :> ). Also, I suck when it comes to grammar so if someone, I don't know, wants to be my beta or something just let me know and we can arrange something. If not then I'll just force one of my friends ( or lack thereof )to do it XD 
> 
> Thank you and don't forget to comment. I'm a comment glutton.


	7. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's POV and tooth rotting fluff. Not anything plotty but it's coming, believe me ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY! I WAS SO BUSY LAST WEEKEND AND WHEN I GOT HOME LAST SUNDAY NIGHT I JUST COLLAPSED AND SLEPT! AND THEN MY WEEK WAS HECTIC WITH HOMEWORK AND SCHOOL! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SO SOOOORRRY! Please don't hate me! : Also! I used Polyvore for outfits. I am a nerd for fashion so... YEAH! I looked up the scents and I loveeeee the Alpine Suede... yup.  
> Anyways! Please remember to have a good morning, afternoon, evening, or night!  
> ~Phasirous out ^O 3 O^   
> Ps: Sassy Armin is my life.
> 
> Music Inspiration:   
> Work ~ Rihanna ft Drake  
> Helpless ~ Hamiliton Soundtrack (Don't judge me, it's a good song!)  
> Love Yourself ~ Justin Bieber (I like his most recent songs, don't judge meeeee pleasee O^O)  
> Roses ~ The Chainsmokers ft. Rozes

 

Eren woke up to the cutest, prettiest, and funniest sight in the world; Armin singing along to Hello by Adele. A smile threatened his chapped lips but he used all his willpower not to grin like a maniac as he watched this euphoric scene unfold in the best ways. 

 

“ _ So HELLO from the OUTSIDE”  _ Armin exaggerated some of the words and Eren had tears forming at the edges of his eyes but he forced himself to enjoy this a bit longer before he embarrassed the little angel. 

 

“ _ I must have called a thousand TIMES”  _ Eren's eyes were filled with tears as the blonde  _ clearly  _ got the lyrics wrong and his lungs wanted to release the air that bubbled up inside him. Armin kept singing and Eren couldn’t be happier at that point. The fact that he was drawling his words even more was just  _ priceless _ .

 

“ _ To tell YOU I’m SOWEE.”  _ Eren nearly lost it at that point but he had to try and get through it for the sake of, well, his entertainment. Armin had done a baby voice instead of a plain ‘sorry’ and he was exaggerating his movements by falling onto his back.  

 

“For breaking your HEART. But it DON’T matter IT clearly doesn’t tear you apart ANYMORE!!” Armin sang out. The song came to a close and Eren let out the laughter that was rising in his chest. 

 

Armin went stiff and he turned around slowly, mortification etched on his face in replacement of sheer joy. “Y-You h-heard me?!” Armin squeaked out, covering his face with his hands and suddenly wishing he was anywhere but here. “I didn’t know you were awake!” Armin’s body shook and Eren, for a second, thought he was crying before a beautiful sound came tumbling out of Armin’s lips. “That’s so embarrassing!” Armin cried out as he halfheartedly hit Eren on the shoulder. Eren shrugged and replaced his blinding grin with a sly smirk,

 

“I didn’t want to ruin the moment.” he slightly purred, making Armin’s face burst into flames. Eren’s sly facade broke and laughter and joy replaced the slightly sensual aura around them. 

 

Eren had, officially, switched rooms with Marco because, and he didn’t want to tell Armin this, Marco and Jean were dating and had been for a while now. Since Jean was his roommate (don’t ask how  _ that  _ happened) it only made sense that he do something for Marco  _ and _ get Armin closer to him. He felt a slight pang in his heart as he imagined Armin being shoved into a corner and abused by his peers, especially that horse faced prick. His face ever so slightly morphed into one of rage but he quickly smoothed it out and replaced it with a cheeky smile. But leave it to Armin to notice the slight change in his once overly happy mood,

 

“Eren? What’s wrong?” Armin cocked his head to the side and Eren’s face started to warm at the realization of being caught even though he did nothing wrong. He just cared for him. Nothing more and nothing less. Okay, that was a lie. It was  _ so obvious  _ that Eren was starting to feel something for his newfound best friend. It had been awhile since that fateful Tuesday and when he says awhile, he means two or three months. Eren got up that day with his head held high and a confidence in his step or in other words, he was determined and nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted and at that moment that was to become Armin’s roommate. By Friday everything was done and Eren had finished moving in time to see Armin perform. He remembered the way his jaw dropped as Armin became A-Romania, the singer that no one else, but Eren and his employer, knew who he was. He also, very  _ vividly _ , remembered his rather… nice  [ outfit  ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=190713255) that Eren couldn’t get out of his mind. Armin didn’t want to be known so they took the black scarf, that he  _ was  _ going to wear around his neck, and put it around his eyes. Armin went on to sing many other songs on Fridays until the manager hired Armin to perform on weekends too. Eren could not be happier and his face split into a wide smile as he answered Armin’s question,

 

“Everything’s good, Ar. Now come on! We have class and I really wouldn’t want to be late, Levi is, apparently, in a bad mood so I don’t want to piss him off more than I probably already have.” Eren chuckled and mumbled under his breath “That midget”. Armin nodded in understanding as he climbed down the ladder of his bed. Oh right! Eren had the bottom bunk and he peered down to see the bed sheets still made up. He never slept in his bed, only in Armin’s, and  _ no  _ nothing happened as much as he wished something did. Armin would get nightmares so Eren would always sleep in the same bed as him. Nothing more, nothing less. 

 

Eren jumped down and he heard Armin mutter under his breath “You and your damn height…” he trailed off as he pouted and sulked his way over to his closet. Eren saw that Armin had  [ pulled  ](http://www.polyvore.com/armin_from_monsters_outfit_chap.7/set?id=190633513) out a gray long sleeve and a black combo hooded jacket with some light blue jeans and, of course, a grey beanie. Eren rolled his eyes with a small smile on his face and stalked over to his own closet. He opened his closet with a groan. Sleep was still constricting his movements and it made getting dressed harder than he thought.

 

He pulled out what he was going to  [ wear ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=190709721) . Without any hesitation he threw on his dark grey t-shirt that said ‘Create the Past’ and his denim jeans. He had changed in front of Armin before and he never cared; why start now? 

 

He made sure everything fit to a tee before stripping while walking to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes as he heard Armin call after him with a ‘what’s the point of getting dressed  _ then  _ taking a shower?!’. This happened often. Eren would go first but he’d try on his outfits before showering and it pissed Armin off. He heard a muttered ‘for fucks sake Eren’ before he shut the door. He chuckled as he peeled off his boxers and turned on the water, making sure it was the desired temperature for him. Not scalding, not freezing. Just right. That was another thing, the water  _ had  _ to be perfect and if it wasn’t then he would sit on the floor and pout until it was to his liking. 

 

He climbed in and let a small sigh escape his lips as the water pelted down on him.  _ High water pressure _ , he remembered with a small sigh.  _ Perfect _ . 

 

He grabbed his shampoo and lathered it into his hair. The smell of peppermint mixed with lime and wintergreen filled his nostrils and he let out yet another sigh as he repeated the relaxing motions in his hair. He rinsed out his hair and grabbed his  [ Alpine Suede ](http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?productId=37974416&cp=12586965.12587148.25108266) body wash. He allowed his head to tilt back as he scrubbed the wash onto his skin, leaving him a little red. 

 

Once he finished he stepped out and grabbed his  [ favorite towel ](http://www.overstock.com/Bedding-Bath/Authentic-Hotel-and-Spa-Plush-Soft-Twist-Turkish-Cotton-Bath-Towel-Set-of-2/6345131/product.html) to wrap around his waist. Eren chuckled at memory of seeing Armin’s face light up at the sight of twin towels. Yup. Eren got them matching towels. Cheesy right? He had an extra one and they are  _ super  _ soft so why not give one to his new ‘roomie’? 

 

He threw open the door to see Armin waiting patiently on the bed for him to finish. He coughed to make his presence know and Armin’s head snapped up with a bored look in his eyes,

 

“Took you long enough.” Armin eyed Eren’s leather jacket on the door and spoke up “Wear something warm, you don’t want to catch a cold. If you do” he chuckled darkly “I won’t take care of you.” Eren rolled his eyes, again, and replied with a sarcastic “Okay Mama Armin.” Armin nodded and slipped into the bathroom, letting it close with a soft and faint click. 

 

Eren grinned as he realized that they were getting closer and closer with each playful banter session that occurred on days like this. When he first met Armin he was scared to even touch him in fear of startling the rather small boy but now he was more comfortable around him and he realized that Armin had much more sass than he let on.  _ Way  _ more than he let on. 

 

By the time Armin got out Eren was done and had his, in Armin’s opinion, stupid sunglasses on. Eren glanced up from his phone and allowed the smell of Armin to flow into his nostrils as the small boy passed by him in his, rather nicely put together, outfit.  _ Lavender and Mint _ , Eren sighed quietly. He knew that that scent was his shampoo and his body wash was  [ Ocean for Men ](http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?productId=23437866&cp=12586965.12587148.25108266) with a Watermelon top note. Eren knew he was stalker. He couldn’t help it, he lived with him for pete's sake. 

 

The victim of Eren’s stalking snapped him out of his reverie. “Eren, you ready to go? It’s 8:05. You do remember that our class starts at 8:30 and ends at 9:30… right?” Armin’s tone was laced with sarcasm. Eren shook his head and replied with an equally sassy reply, “Yes, Mom or should I say destroyer of the world?” Eren cocked an eyebrow with a smirk on his lips. Armin rolled his eyes and turned around, heading straight for the door, Eren in tow.

 

Armin slipped on his beanie and coat, eyeing Eren warily. Eren caught sight of this and breathed out a puff of air as he locked their door. “I’m warm. We can grab some coffee really quick if you want…?” Eren stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged casually. Armin nodded quickly and walked off towards the entrance of the dorms, “Okay, but I’m buying.” 

Eren tried to protest but gave up when the blonde shot him a glare that was more cute than threatening.  

 

They walked in comfortable silence, leaving Eren to think about everything that was going on between them.  _ He could like me back but do I even like him? I mean he’s attractive but would I date him? No…  _ Eren glanced at Armin and covered the blush that spread down to his neck as he turned.  _ Yeah, I would definitely date him. I’d do it in a heartbeat. Jean had the chance and gave it up. He is a really stupid horse, and here some people said horses were smart! Boy, were they wrong.  _

 

They arrived at the cafe and Eren, being the slight gentleman he is, held the door open for Armin and couple of ladies who batted their eyelashes at him and thanked him rather flirtatiously to which he only smiled politely. Armin waited quietly inside and walked up to the counter when he saw Eren approach. Armin turned towards the woman manning the register when he suddenly realized who it was and shrunk a little bit. Eren, on the other hand, gasped rather loudly when he saw who it was.

 

“Sasha!  What are you doing here?! You have the same class as us!” Eren smiled broadly despite himself. She shrugged and gave them both a lopsided grin,

 

“Mr. Levi excused me only on Wednesdays so I’m good, but anyways,” she put on a cheesy smile and spoke in a rehearsed voice “Welcome to Cafe Rose! How may I help you today.” Eren side glanced at Armin who was looking up at him, pleading at him to order for him. He gave in with a curt nod and he turned to face Sasha who was watching this exchange with a pleased look on her face.

 

“Armin will have a White Chocolate Mocha grande with raspberry drizzle and whole milk and I’ll have a Salted Caramel venti with white and milk chocolate drizzle.” 

 

Sasha typed into the register when Armin stepped up and handed over a 20, a devious look on his ‘innocent’ face as he allowed Sasha to give him his change. Eren scoffed and glanced away, “You little shit” he chuckled.

 

They, more like Eren, waved goodbye to Sasha and drank their coffee in silence as they walked back out into the mid November air.

 

~

 

Disposing their coffee and pushing through the doors of Levi’s classroom they sat in their assigned seats, waving at each from across the room. Armin was left near the window and Eren in the back right corner, sulking deeply as he watched the blonde turn around and start taking complicated notes. He was sure that Armin was fluent in the rather hard language they studied while Eren was terrible and only understood ‘Bonjour’ and ‘Oui’. Pathetic, right? Yeah it really was and even Armin teased him about it. 

 

Levi entered the room and slammed his briefcase on his desk, asking for their homework. Eren, with much help from Armin, finally handed his homework in too which their teacher only nodded his head in approval. 

 

Class went by in a blur, Eren taking notes and stealing glances at Armin who was, still, taking notes hastily. Eren, for the upfteenth time that day, rolled his eyes and lightly laughed. However his little laugh didn’t go unnoticed by Levi,

 

“Jaeger! What the  _ hell _ is so funny?!” Levi shouted with a bite in voice yet his face as indifferent as always. Eren felt his face heat up and he ducked his head as he muttered a small apology. Once Levi resumed his lecture Eren stole yet another glance at Armin who was looking back at him with amusement shining in his eyes. He stuck his tongue out at Armin who reciprocated the action and Eren was glad that Levi had turned write something down on the large board, no doubt notes but Eren wasn’t paying attention anymore as he continued his sass battle with Armin behind their teachers back. 

 

~

 

The bell rung, to which Eren was glad and he dashed to Armin’s desk. He grabbed his hand and all but ran out the door. It was almost Thanksgiving break and Eren had an idea for this Friday and he was sure Armin would love his little ‘idea’.

 

He whipped out his phone, Armin’s hand still nestled nicely in his, and dialed a few numbers. He didn’t let how Armin acted at the coffee shop today go unnoticed. Basically he was going to make Armin more comfortable around other people.

 

A few rings and Eren grew impatient,  _ C’mon, C’mon, C’mon, C’mon!  _ He was met with the soft voice of his sister,

 

_ “Eren…!”  _

 

“Hey, Mikasa. I need a favor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Thanks for reading and don't forget to comment, I'm a comment glutton. My appetite is never satisfied... and don't forget to leave a kudos! By the way, Thank you all for 45 FREEEAKKING KUDOSSS! AND NEARLY 500 HITS?!?!?!?! WHATTT!?!?!? 4 BOOKMARKS!!?!?!??!?!?! OHMYGODITHINKMYHEARTHASBURST!   
> *Coughs awkwardly*   
> Uh... Yeah, thank you!   
> *Disappears into the clouds using my 3-D maneuver-gear*

**Author's Note:**

> You made it! So please leave CONSTRUCTIVE Criticism and any questions will be answered if need be! O//u ////O  
> Kudos would be nice but please don't feel pressured or anything.  
> And remember to have a wonderful morning, afternoon, evening or night!  
> ~Phasirous out .O u O.


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